What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
