I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
