Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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