I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
