If that was your dad, he is hot
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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