I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
