the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sponge bath it is.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
