I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
