It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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