Having a random hookup so left but love u
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
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Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My feet surprised me
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