First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize