how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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