some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
