shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
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and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
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What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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