When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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