No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
