I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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