It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
