So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
