i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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