Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
