AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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