We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
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Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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