Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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