lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
