I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
