she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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