Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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