A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
