I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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