I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
