ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
