Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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