Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
