OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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