So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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