R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Life is so much better after having sex.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
