I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
