Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
