Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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