i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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