6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
