I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
