Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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