@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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