Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
