It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
