Need sex. Gaining weight.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
