whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
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Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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