just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
