I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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