The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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