come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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