what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
