ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
