This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
