i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
