her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
