I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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