I have demons in me.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
