Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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